You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
