As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
