On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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