Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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