There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
