if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
