there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
