My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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