brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize