it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
