she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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