If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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