i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
