Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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