Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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