i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
