i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
