I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
