I cockslap morals
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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