When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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