He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
