How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
