she was so not down for the gang bang
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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