Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
