Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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