I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
