I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
