can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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