Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
