You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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