just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
