If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
