I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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