he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
