Soap is not a condiment
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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