It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
