rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
True college students do jello shots in the library
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
