so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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