woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
