Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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