currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize