Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
