kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
