I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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