you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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