true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
A bitchslap is in order.
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