just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
