I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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