someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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