Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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