I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
