the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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