honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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