So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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