farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The cops high fived after they tackled you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
