just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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