Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize