she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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