I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
