I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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